Interpersonal Communication

Communication is extremely crucial in daily life. When we can communicate the right information to another person, it will enhance the relationship between one another. What would happen if two people cannot communicate properly and cause misunderstanding?

Simple misunderstandings can, possibly, be best outcomes of any miscommunication. However, more than often, miscommunication can result in something more serious and threaten the very existence of the relationship between the sender and receiver.

Let’s look at a scenario. You were the C.E.O. of a company, and one of your employees, not only was late for work, but he also handed you an incomplete business report. His excuse was he had a bad weekend and he had to take care of some other tasks as well. Frustrated and angered by his disorganization and lack of devotion to your company, you quickly interrupted his continuous excuses for everything. Then you told him to get out of your office and clean out his desk by that afternoon.

From your perspective, you attribute his inability to perform at his highest level as the result of bad time management and inconsistency. However, what if the employee had a legitimate excuse for this action and you did not give him a chance to fully explain himself? Rather than his incapability, the task was incomplete because his colleagues at the company did not fully contribute in finishing the report. Therefore, as the group leader, he had to accept all responsibilities. This difference in your interpretation of why your employee was unsuccessful in completing the work is based on the attribution theory, suggesting that you strive to understand the causes of events around you in order to make appropriate responses. However, when you misinterpret and misunderstand the event, attribution can influence you to make a wrong response (Allred, 2000)[1]

This is just one of the many examples of how miscommunication can lead to the deterioration or, in this case, the termination of a relationship. This happens every day in our lives. Sometimes we quickly get angry and refuse to reason with the other person. Not only we jeopardize the relationship, but we also practice bad communication skills. By the way, this employee was the best worker in your company. Not only you were mad at the wrong person, you had fired one of your company’s greatest assets.

I find that we live in two different worlds each day: the first world is what we called home and the second one is anywhere outside of our home. It is interesting how I—hopefully everyone feel the same way—expect information in full details in the second world while only demanding less at home. Part of the reason for these differences is my family is very high context. We communicate less verbally. I always assume and hope that my parents can understand of what I want to tell them. On the other hand, sometimes it is hard for my friends and classmates to understand me because of my low verbally explicit communication.

I, finally, came to a conclusion that conflicts and misunderstanding are unavoidable. The most important thing we should all remember is how to manage them. Good conflict management skills can help us avoid unnecessary conflicts, and good communication skills can enhance our productivity and our quality of life.

[1] Miller, C. W., Roloff, M. E., & Malis, R. S. (2007). Understanding Interpersonal Conflicts That Are Difficult to Resolve: A Review of Literature and Presentation of an Integrated Model. In C. S. Beck (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (pp. 118-171). Lawrence Erlbaum Association, 118-159.

Is it a Right or Wrong Perception?

For many years, women were and are perceived as more inferior to men in regardless of status, job rank and ability to perform certain tasks. Whether you are a woman in Cambodia or India, you are still treated differently compare to men. Most women including myself always wonder whether it is fair to receive certain treatment just because of our gender.


Since I was young, my relatives and grandmother always told me that girls do not need to be highly educated. I have always wondered why they never stop my brothers from reaching for higher level of education. To my grandmother, she always encourages my brothers to get a doctrate degree so that they can be a specialist in one area that they like. Why can't I do the same thing? I have always wanted to be a teacher and I have some passion for it. However, I was told not to go overseas to further my studies. Five years ago, my grandmother and aunts stopped me from going to the US because they felt that there is no need for me to study that much. They always say that I will eventually marry, become a mother and a housewife. At that time, I told them that I wanted to explore the world and do not want to limit myself to certain levels they were trying to set for me. My parents were supportive and let me further my education in America and Singapore.

I must admit that my grandmother's perception of girls is that they do not require high education since it is unnecessary. I do want to change her mindset and perception because girls should have the same opportunity to experience and learn new things as boys do. The traditional Cambodian perception of girls is exactly the same as in Indian society before. Women are always be inferior to men and always remain as a housewife regardless of how much education she could achieve. Personally, I think it is extremely unfair and untrue because girls can achieve the same level as success as boys do if she is willing to do so. People should not judge the ability based on gender.

Communicating without knowing it

Since young, I always feel that it is better to tell my parents everything that occurs in my life. I trust my parents and I know that they will always support me in whichever decision I make. There are times when it is extremely hard to verbally communicate to them about my feelings. The death of my grandfather had a great impact tremendously in my life. Through I came across many emotional thoughts and feelings, I never communicate to anyone about it. Many times, I found myself feeling regretful and depressed. The good memories of him flash back to me everyday. In such situation, I can not verbally communicate to my parents or anyone else. It is too complicated and indescribable.

Unexpectedly, my parents and friends do comprehend my feelings toward my grandfather’s death. I never know that I express any communication to them about my feelings. Through my silences and facial expressions, my parents understand how sad I feel. Likewise, many of us may overlook the importance of this non-verbal communication. While most people including myself tends to believe that verbal communication is among the best communication because one person can hear the exact feelings and thoughts of another person, it may not be entirely true.

As shown in the recent movie, Wall-E, the main character clearly demonstrates that non-verbal communication is just as good and as effective as verbal communication. The main character, Wally, is a lonely robot. He cleans up trashes everyday after everyone in the world evacuated to space. This film is fast forward to 700 years from now with a belief that the world is going to be destroyed and filled with pollutions. At the same time, the movie is projecting that people are shifting to space where they can enjoy the luxury lives they used to have on earth.

Wally communicates nonverbally with a wide range of emotions using his hands, and facial expressions. This allows the audiences to realize that verbal is not necessarily needed when Wally demonstrates his emotions effectively without having to say much. This new movie is just one example to show that non-verbal communication is just as effective as verbal communication. In some situations, non-verbal communication is much stronger in conveying a message.

Personally, I do feel that both type of communication are useful and need to be co-existed. My own reason is that, verbal communication does not always allow individual to maintain privacy. For instance, anyone can eavesdrop or accidentally hear a communication between two people at anytime. However, non-verbal communication can be significantly important when two people want to discuss something very privacy. I am not implying that verbal communication is bad, but at some levels, it can have more disadvantage than non-verbal communication. Overall, both communications are like water and fish. They exists together as a companion in every individual’s life.